They lost two quarterbacks, two offensive linemen, one receiver, and one linebacker before the team had played six games and have cried a river to 3-11. The Patriots will be wheeled into the Meadowlands tonight snarling on their gurneys, convinced whatever minor problems they have had en route to 9-5 are psychosomatic.

The Patriots lost Pro Bowl safety Rodney Harrison to a knee operation. The Pats say he's out for the season, which means we'll see him by the fourth quarter, just like we saw Tedy Bruschi, back six games from a stroke, playing almost as well as ever and at a different linebacking position.

We would be impressed had not Bruschi spent six weeks seeing cardiologists, wasting time deciding whether he was risking death. There were more important things to do, like defending a Super Bowl championship. Finally Bruschi came back, like Richard Seymour (out four games) came back, like Corey Dillon (missing virtually three games) and Kevin Faulk (gone eight games) came back, being the Frankenstein sequels that they are.

The mad scientist who re-invented the Patriots designed them with interchangeable and indestructable parts. Ted Johnson, an anchor of their all-time, three-time World Championship linebacking corps, retired. Defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel left to coach the Browns, offensive coordinator Charlie Weis took off to coach Notre Dame, leaving Bill Belichick minus left and right arms before they also took his legs, Harrison and Seymour, leaving just a head and a torso in a hooded sweatshirt where a head coach used to be.

They might as well remove the torso, too, the Patriots apparently needing only the head. Forty-four different players who have started at least one game have missed at least one. It boggles the mind, yet this Pats' defense continues to boggle great offensive minds.

Harrison's initial replacement, Guss Scott, landed on IR, before the Patriots tried James Sanders, Arturo Freeman and Michael Stone, before converting corner Randall Gay. He went on IR, too. Artrell Hawkins, a cornerback picked up off the street, is now playing safety on a team that has allowed 10 points in the last three games.

Patriots at Jets; 9 p.m., Monday night, Dec. 26; Game No. 15 for both teams.

The Jets were going to be the biggest threat to the Patriots' dynasty, the one that has produced two consecutive Super Bowl victories and three Lombardi trophies in the last four years.

But a series of not-so-funny things happened to the Jets en route to this game, the one that was going to decide the AFC East title and perhaps supremacy in the entire conference: five quarterbacks, two centers and a displaced offensive line, a running back playing all season on one leg before finally succumbing to surgery two weeks ago, no starting tight end, and an injury-depleted defense.

In total, 62 players have played in at least one game for the Jets, a remarkable number when you realize they take 45 to each game and 80 are in training camp.

All of that equals a 3-11 record for the Jets as they play the 9-5 Patriots, who have persevered through a litany of injuries themselves, though they always had Tom Brady under center.

So, with the Jets out of the playoff race for some two months and the Patriots having already wrapped up the weakened AFC East, tonight's game means nothing with the exception of the Jets possibly improving their chances for a higher draft pick.

That means, football fans, all you have to sink your teeth into with this game is the fact it's the final Monday Night Football telecast on ABC after a trail-blazing and storied history (MNF is moving to ESPN next season).

There is symmetry: On Sept. 21, 1970, the Jets and Browns played in the very first Monday night ABC telecast. The Jets lost 31-21 in front of 85,703 at the old Municipal Stadium in Cleveland.

Tonight, the Jets will close the door on Monday Night Football, likely in front of about half the fans that witnessed that first one. The game probably will end in a similar result, considering how much better and deeper the Patriots are than the Jets, who are 16-19 on Monday nights.

So tonight will be a lot more about the memories of Monday nights past than it will about what's actually taking place on the field; at least that's the way the telecast is sure to go.

Jets center Kevin Mawae, one of the walking wounded, won't play tonight, but he'll always cherish the "Monday Night Miracle" game against the Dolphins in 2000 when the Jets charged back from a huge deficit in the second half and overcame their stunned rivals from Miami.

"That was voted the most memorable Monday Night Football game ever," Mawae said proudly. "It was just an amazing game to be a part of . . . to be a part of NFL history. My name might never be mentioned in it, but at least I know I played in it. That was a pretty memorable game."

Jets backup quarterback Jay Fiedler, the Dolphins' starting QB in that incredible game, remembers it all right. He won't be playing tonight, either, due to a surgically-repaired right shoulder. He vividly recalled the flight home early in the morning after the loss.

"Miserable," Fiedler said. "Guys were in shock. It was a very quiet flight back home."

Vinny Testaverde, the Jets' starting quarterback in that game and now a backup, is expected to make his farewell appearance tonight in a relief role. He recalled that game for selfish reasons: Missing a potential TD pass to Laveranues Coles.

"[That's] the one thing that will always haunt me," Testaverde said. "As I'm throwing the ball, my arm gets hit and the ball floats in the air and almost gets picked off. That's the one thing in that game that will always stand out for me."

A short time after Testaverde missed out on throwing the game-winning TD to Coles, the Jets won it with a field goal.

"The thing about Monday night is everybody is watching — everyone in the league, everyone in your hometown, everybody in the country," Mawae said. "It's a chance for you to go out and shine."